I'm All Cried Out!

I planned on taking a break from blogging & facebook, but I've had a rough few days and just need to vent!

Did you ever have one of those days that you cried about every single little thing? Maybe it was a mistake watching "Extreme Makeover-Home Edition" for the first time ever today!
Today started off crappy, just like the last few days. It was raining this morning and I thought that Ben's soccer game would get canceled, but it didn't. The weather has been unusually cooler and with that my fibromyalgia has been acting up. I think it has to do with the weather, and being stressed out lately because of our newest remodeling project. Whatever it's from, I've been in severe pain for about a week. Add that to taking care of the boys and Chris working the last 16 out of 19 days/12 hour shifts! I've been more than a little stressed!

On Chris' last day off, I napped for 5 hours during the day! One thing about me is that I am NOT a napper! You know that I'm not feeling well if I am napping! Besides the pain it's the fact that I feel flu-like all the time! And I can't regulate my body temperature, so I'm either overly hot, or I'm freezing!

Anyway what really upset me the most today was when a few people close to me (whom I actually think would care about my well being) was talking about how bitchy I've been lately. One person said to the other person that it was because I wasn't taking my medication (which is unbelievably false)! The only time I haven't taken my medication was during both pregnancies. So what angers me is when people make assumptions without even knowing the truth behind it. And what bothers me I think the most is that people don't even ask about how I'm doing! Maybe if they'd ask me once in awhile without totally being absorbed in themselves, then they wouldn't be so judgemental!

People just don't understand what it's like for someone with chronic pain. The smallest thing like walking up a flight of stairs or picking up a toddler can seem like a daunting task!

So this is where the story gets funny. It definitely wasn't funny at the time, but looking back at it, I feel badly for the guy that had to take my phone call!

So I was on my way to Dick's Sporting Goods to pick up a pair of soccer shorts for Ben. I decided to go the toll road, because it's much faster, and I didn't feel like being in the car long. Anyway I pulled into the Full Service Lane, because I never have exact change. I was nearly in tears when I pulled into the lane to give the man my money. The man handed me the money and said "Thank You." I didn't say anything because I was soo upset that I wasn't in the mood to speak, much less talk to the man. As I started driving away, he threw up his hands and yelled "Your Welcome!"

Oh that was it! If I wasn't soo upset about what was already going on in my life I would have totally back up and gave him a piece of my mind! But on my way to the store, I just cried and cried! I was a total mess! I had to sit in the parking lot for a few minutes just to get myself together! All these emotions were coming at me saddness...anger...hurt...etc.

So I did what any stressed out woman would do, I called and filed a complaint! I called information and asked for the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission. I called them, and they gave me the number for the toll road! And this is where it gets funny. Like I said not at the time, but looking back now. A guy answered and I said "I'm calling to file a complaint." And he asked what about. And I said that I pulled in and gave the guy money and I didn't say anything to him and he yelled "You're welcome!" I tried to keep calm during this conversation, but I started crying uncontrollably and said "I'm going through a rough time in my life, and he has no idea what a person is going through and he shouldn't make such remarks!" "It really hurt my feelings!"

At this point I can tell the guy on the other end is finding this very amusing, and is almost laughing. And he said: "I'll make sure I talk to him about this." So I hung up, went in and bought the soccer shorts and avoided the toll road on my way home! I think I'm either going to take cash from now on or go the back roads!

But it just seems like these things keep happening to me! Maybe I'm just overly sensitive!? I ended up calling my husband on the way home and I said "Am I losing my mind?" It just seems like things aren't going my way lately. I have so much negativity in my life, that I need to avoid. But that's a whole other blog post that maybe I'll talk about in a few days. But I think I'm totally cried out for today, looking back it feels very therapeutic! lol